O Tópico das Citações

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Zombie_
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Zombie_ » sexta fev 19, 2010 10:28 pm

otnemeM Escreveu:This one time, I got extremely drunk with a friend of mine and ended up in the East Village getting Belgian Frittes at 4 am and having a long rambling drunk heart to heart with some really hot chick who was in some Broadway musical… She was one of those extremely beautiful women who you know you just have absolutely no shot with, so there’s no pressure. She was there with her brother, and I’m charming and hilarious and things are going awesome - but again, I have no shot, so whatever.

Suddenly, somehow, my buddy disappears, and her brother isn’t there anymore, and this girl and I are completely alone. We leave the Frittes place, and for once, the East Village is completely empty - no cars, no people, just us. It was magical. Realizing how hot she was and how late it was, I mumbled something about having to get home, and started to stumble away. She called after me, “Wait! Take my number!”, came over and scribbled on the back of a receipt, then stuffed it into my pocket. Stunned, I was like “uh, thanks.”

She grabbed my arm just as the wind blew a strand of her hair into her eyes in a perfectly beautiful way, and as she brushed it back behind her ear, she looked deep into my eyes, searching for something. Time seemed to slow down as the two of us stood there, huddled together in the early morning darkness, just looking at one another, not speaking. Suddenly, I was completely sober. My heart was racing. My stomach was leaping. The planets were aligned and all was right with the world. She leaned her head close to mine and whispered “Tell your friend to call me sometime”.

in http://aaronbleyaert.tumblr.com/post/392507748


That made me sad.
RuySan: Não percebo a obsessão que certas pessoas têm com cuecas.
Zombie_: Tem lá coisas tão giras.
Grimner: Eis o porquê.

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otnemeM
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor otnemeM » sexta fev 19, 2010 11:07 pm

Bet it made him sadder.

Mas lê o post original todo, o efeito será contrário.

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otnemeM
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor otnemeM » quinta fev 25, 2010 1:14 pm

Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.

http://twitter.com/ConanOBrien

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dred_666
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor dred_666 » segunda mar 01, 2010 7:24 pm

Varg Vikernes Escreveu:Most bands who think politics are more important than music make very poor music.

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Kustu Rica
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Kustu Rica » segunda mar 01, 2010 7:37 pm

El oh el.
Your wife, my bitch. Your love, my trick. Her mouth, my dick. I fucked, thats' it. Straight pimp, no shit. Gave me your chips. I drove, your whip. It's true, don't trip.

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antijeova
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor antijeova » segunda mar 01, 2010 8:00 pm

A ideia veio a morrer de morte natural, mas o cadáver caminha.

nao consigo entender nada de filosofia mas esta frase é de louvar :P
Imagem

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Venøm
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Venøm » segunda mar 01, 2010 9:47 pm

"Eu tenho um amigo programador profissional..." - O meu querido professor de programação.

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KonigLowe
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor KonigLowe » terça mar 02, 2010 2:31 pm

"o vaticano tem dinheiro para reconstruir o haiti se quisesse... ouviste algo? pois... o povinho q ajude" (...)
"se o vaticano vende-se um estátua qq matava a fome num país africano durante um ano"

Em conversa com uma amiga no IM do myspace à pouco. A primeira frase tocou-me particularmente por acaso.
Mas livrai-nos do Malamén

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KonigLowe
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor KonigLowe » terça mar 02, 2010 2:36 pm

Na sequência da anterior:

"Lisboa não paga visita do Papa"
"Igreja procura mecenas que paguem os 200 mil euros que custa o altar no Terreiro do Paço."

in Correio da manhã

Pergunta: Por quantos milhões de euros ficará a visita do Ratozinger? Ele agora não é santo? Os santos não precisam de segurança, as balas desviam-se deles, como se fossem o Neo.

Simplesmente imoral.
Mas livrai-nos do Malamén

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Venøm
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Venøm » quarta mar 03, 2010 2:31 pm

In - http://www.facepunch.com/newreply.php?d ... p=20455834

Facepunch forum user Escreveu:NEVER LET YOUR SHIT BUILD UP

Facepunch, I bring you the most serious subject in the world.



Since as early as I can remember I've always hated shitting with my parents upstairs, the thought of sitting there releasing the chocolate hostage whilst your parents are in the other room unintentionally listening to every detail which is happening is simply too weird for me to handle.


This usually results in some slightly larger than normal shit's when I do get the chance to go to the toilet, and believe me when I say I take every oppertunity I can. Unluckily, for the past few days my parents had been upstairs more often than usual, forcing me to continually tame the monster which was lurking inside of me.


But about 30 minutes ago I had my golden oppertunity, my parents went downstairs to watch TV for a while, so I literally sprinted to the bathroom and my ass hit that rim faster than the speed of sound, little did I know what was about to unfold. It started normal, I just sat there chilling, happy I was about to grace the Earth with this thoughtful presant.


I started pushing, all was going well, I could feel it slowly sliding out my ass with great success, but I started to get a little worried after that because the more which came out the wider and more solid it was becoming, by about halfway I had to lean my body position forwards because sitting upright was just too painfull, and I was beginning to panick. Now, I knew what was coming, I've seen this in movies, so I braced myself, drew a large breath of air and counted to 3.


Facepunch the only way I can describe the next part of this tragic story is literally the word HELL, neverbefore have I felt something so painful, so longlasting and WRONG. My asshole felt like it was 5ft apart and I was shitting out a steel triangle, it was so painful that It actually knocked the air out of my lungs and made me scream a little, my entire life flashed before my eyes and I thought that this was the end, this was my fate, to be found naked on the toilet with half a shit hanging out of my ass by my parents.


Somehow in this horriffic situation, the overall pain I was feeling made me push so hard that I did manage to release this abomination and I was left there feeling violated, sweating and in agony. After about 5 minutes of contemplating my life and wondering where it all went wrong I stood up and looked down the toilet, it was like staring straight into the face of the devil, I could only see half due to the other side curling down the toilet pipe it was that big.


So now I'm here Facepunch, at my desk, with two pieces of tissue blocking my profusely bleeding ass, I have to change the paper every 10 minutes or so because it isn't stopping either.


Make sure you go for a shit even if the world is watching, I hope none of you have to experience what I just endured.


tl;dr - profusely bleeding asshole due to colossal sized demon shit.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



UPDATE: 28/02/2010 20:15PM
- Just attempted to take another shit and I can't, the damage from the last fucking meteorite makes it too painful, now I'm worried It's gunna build up again. Imagem



UPDATE: 01/03/2010 18:04PM
- Okay, managed to take one small shit but had to stop due to the pain, I've been a member of Facepunch for many years so I know how important pictures are.... so I grabbed my camera.



ImagemWARNING, CONTAINS BLOOD, SHIT AND SHITTYBLOOD.Imagem

http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/7158 ... sshole.jpg



It's been almost 3 days after the incident and I'm still bleeding, I need a hug.



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Zombie_
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Zombie_ » segunda mar 15, 2010 3:44 pm

" -Hacer deporte no sirve, lo mejor es no comer para no estar gordo. Si andas mucho quemas unas 200 Kcal/día que luego repones sobradamente en el bar, una ensaladita por la noche y punto. "


A piada está em este senhor ser um médico desportivo. :mrgreen:
RuySan: Não percebo a obsessão que certas pessoas têm com cuecas.
Zombie_: Tem lá coisas tão giras.
Grimner: Eis o porquê.

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Adamastos
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Adamastos » quarta mar 17, 2010 3:45 am

Thomas Edison (1846 - 1931):

I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
fight the pain
--
Adamastos
http://www.myspace.com/paindeception

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Ataegina
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Ataegina » terça mar 23, 2010 2:30 pm

O brilhando tinha deixado aí um video que no final tinha duas das citações mais brilhantes que li/ouvi recentemente.

“The ideas of economists and political philosophers, both when they are right and when they are wrong, are more powerful than is commonly understood. Indeed the world is ruled by little else. Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influence, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist.” - J. M. Keynes

"The curious task of economics is to demonstrate to men how little they really know about what they imagine they can design." - F. A. Hayek

Gosto também de umas outras:

"A religião é uma coisa excelente para manter as pessoas caladas" - Napoleão

"Sir, a+b^n /z = x Therefor God exists. Reply!" - Matemático Euler a tentar provar que Deus existe num debate com um filósofo francês.

E por fim:

"Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because if there be one he must approve of the homage of reason more than that of blindfolded fear." - Thomas Jefferson
.

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miguel_d
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor miguel_d » terça mar 23, 2010 11:37 pm

"If I could explain it to the average person, I wouldn't have been worth the Nobel Prize."

"Physics is like sex, sure it may have some practical results but that's not why we do it"

Ambas por Richard Feynman

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Déjà loin
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Re: O Tópico das Citações

Mensagempor Déjà loin » domingo abr 04, 2010 11:01 am

Heineken?! Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

Ah, nada como Cavity para me recordar este momento :redneck:.
Assez lent, si vous le voulez bien.


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